escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize