You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
