Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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