ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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