you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
