well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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