My hair reeks of homosexuality.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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