Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
