I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
