First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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