Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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