Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
