He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
