There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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