By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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