that's an acceptable place to lick
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Your cock deserves a montage
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
