Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
