I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize