Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
