I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
