I am in a vortex of obligation.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize