I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
