I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My breasts were aching with rage.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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