im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
