You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
