I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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