is this the sara with the beer cane?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
