sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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