this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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