I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize