in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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