Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize