When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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