the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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