i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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