what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
