I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
