Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize