omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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