I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
