Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
