it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I haven't been this sober since birth.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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