You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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