I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
