i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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