farters have to be the big spoon...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
