and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
