Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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