do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
