i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
