You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
wow bdsm is so cute
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
