you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
