this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
