Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
