i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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