kristin has been a bad kristin
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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