I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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