Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
