remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
