i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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