You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
