Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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