I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
