I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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