He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
