The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize