Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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