2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
