I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
