I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
