oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize