ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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