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I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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