i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
