Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
