i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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