so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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