I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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