I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize