awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
