and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
