This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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