your thong is hanging out like whoa
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize