is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
