Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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