Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
